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10 Traits of an Evolved Eater

flying on horse
  1. You, NOT on a Diet. Diets, deprivation, guilt trips and gimmicks no longer draw in an Evolved Eater. She eats every time she is hungry regardless of how much she weighs, how much weight she thinks she wants to lose, what she ate yesterday or 4 hours ago. She responds to her body's needs in "the moment." Every time she is hungry, she eats.
  2. Do you want peace or a piece of pie? An Evolved Eater (EE) knows the difference between hunger and emotion. She stops, sits, takes a breath, puts a hand on her belly and asks: "Am I hungry? Physically? Or do I want to eat because?it's time; I'm stressed, angry or sad?" With mindful awareness, an EE decodes her body's wisdom and becomes clear about her personal signals for hunger and satiation.
  3. Eat Everything. Forget about the skinny bitches and the Carbo Cops! Foods are not good or bad and you are not good or bad for wanting them. Evolved Eaters are curious, adventurous and FEARLESS! When an EE is hungry, she selects the food that really "hums" to her by asking, "Do I want something hot or cold? Salty or sweet? Crunchy or smooth?" She does not over think this?she goes with her gut! An EE does not worry?what if I just eat and eat until I ...explode? She knows that without a food cop screaming NONONO, her urge to rebel, cheat, get it while she can?diminishes and eventually goes away.
  4. Eat with your eyes closed. An EE is a Mindful Eater. She eats slowly. Chews thoroughly. Closes her eyes and tunes into the taste, textures and sensual pleasures of food. She knows it's safe to be present and enjoy. An EE is aware of the thoughts that arise while she eats. She notes them, gently, as "thinking" and then lets them go.
  5. Stay in the Moment. An EE selects the food she really wants and eats until she is comfortably satisfied. She knows that when she's (mildly) hungry again, she'll eat. She doesn't need to focus on this. She trusts and responds to the signals from her body as they arise.
  6. Trust your gut. An EE eats slowly, eats what she wants, then asks her body for feedback. Did it like the food she just ate? Did it work well in her system? After eating it, did she feel energetic, or sluggish, anxious or calm? Does a little bit of this food make her want more and more? An EE understands the difference between a fear food and a trigger food. Between a food that is healthy for someone else yet may not work well for her. An EE does NOT ask, what foods should/shouldn't I eat? But what foods are healthy for ME?
  7. You are the Master of your Domain. An EE is the world's leading expert on herself. She knows better than ANYONE how she feels inside. Mindfulness and self-acceptance skills help her to be aware of her thoughts and feelings before, during and after eating. She uses this information to create her own eating style based on internal messages and insights not external food rules or fears
  8. Feed your other hungers. An EE builds skills and activities that make her feel peaceful, calm, and balanced. She allows time to do what she enJOYs, including sitting quietly and doing nothing. An Evolved Eater balances activity and work with restorative time. Stopping, sitting and breathing are part of her daily routine.
  9. What was I thinking? Thoughts and feelings are not facts. An EE can let her mind yap without becoming involved in the message or story. She can allow her feelings to "just be" without reacting to them by eating or restricting. She's created activities (personalized tool box) that allow her to stay balanced and calm. She might paint, knit, collage, dance, sing or use a journal to clarify her thoughts and feelings.
  10. Let go. An EE knows that overeating/under eating is not a crime and does not make her a bad person. She knows how to give herself a break. She names the thoughts and feelings that come up and then lets them go. An Evolved Eater lives in the present moment?in what is true and real NOW?this very moment! An EE has let go of worrying about what she ate an hour ago, or last night. She does not punish herself. She knows she does not have to be perfect. She sees the humor in all situations and respects where she is right now. An EE takes good care of herself in all circumstances. She keeps learning, breathing and laughing. She is Evolving!!!!

Mindful Eating Tips From Evolving Eaters

     
  1. Start your day S-L-O-W-L-Y. Even if your mind is spinning, screaming, bossing you to HURRY UP! When I start slow, stay focused on what I want, remember, I HAVE A CHOICE, and the whole day goes better.
  2. I start my day with a calming activity like reading, writing, meditating, yoga, stretching. Even if I only have 10 minutes, it still helps the rest of my day be calmer.
  3. I get up and walk as soon as I can. Walking helps me to organize my thinking and my day, and get those endorphins pumping.
  4. I tell myself the truth. If I'm hungry, I don't try to fill up on a pile of raw veggies and coffee. I've learned if I do that, I just get bloated, but never really feel satisfied.
  5. I used to plan every single thing I ate. Now, I decide what I want to eat in the moment. When I start to feel hungry, I ask myself, "What do you really want?" I generally know exactly what I would like to eat, even though my mind still wants to interfere and label food good, bad, etc.
  6. If I feel like I've eaten too much, like I end a meal too full, I just stay busy while the food is digesting. I tell myself, oh well, no big deal. In the past, I would have gotten into a panic, reacted by bingeing or starving to punish myself for being too full. It's amazing but after a couple of hours, I am no longer full.
  7. Forgive myself as soon as possible. If I overeat, or even if I purge, I let it go. I didn't kill anyone. I don't need to be punished!
  8. I choose guilt over anger. Sometimes choosing myself over doing what I "should" means hurting others' feeling. I have grown to prefer feeling guilty about disappointing others rather than feeling angry with them or myself for doing what I don't want.
  9. I don't have to make a decision right now. Oftentimes the rising anxiety comes from options spinning around me. When proposed with a new situation that sometimes sets things spinning, I take a really deep breath and remember that I really don't have to make a decision right now. I respond with "I'm not sure yet", "let me get back to you", or "why don't you go ahead with your plans and I'll let you know if I'm joining".
  10. Usually, if it's not a certain yes, it's a no. I notice myself talking myself into a situation, "well, I should really want to do that or feel that way". If I need convincing, it's probably a no, and not the most loving thing to do for myself.
  11. Some days I make a game out of catching the number of times my mind tells me that I should or shouldn't do something.
  12. I was always amazed at how I got there - with my hand in the gallon of ice cream, the bag of m&ms, when the day was going so well. I've learned to hear the very first squeak, peep, of the voice. It's usually planning what I'll have later, when I'm hungry, or what I might buy at the store, or, I can't wait to get out of here and get some.... if I can hear this soft tricky voice first, I can tell it that it really doesn't require my attention right now, and let it go. This might require vigilant awareness at first, but it too, turns into a sort of game. I win.
  13. I listen to the tightness in my stomach, chest, shoulders, and to my breath. When I stop breathing regularly and deeply, when that knot in my stomach returns, it's time for me to literally slow down. to take 3 really deep breaths, holding each one for seconds. Then I realize that my body just sent me the message even before my mind. My body know that this is an uncomfortable situation, that I need to get out of here, that no, this is not my job anymore, no, I'm not willing to play this role any longer.
  14. I choose to take care of myself in different ways. There's no recipe to follow, yet I have found what works for me over the years. It has been a combination of willingness to try new things, and most importantly, movement with flexibility and compassion. I have found a morning routine that works for me, and yet know that this too might change. I know that I need to move my body and meditate regularly, and yet, approach these with a softness that allows for acceptance - maybe I don't need to run for 30 minutes, maybe I want to walk, or maybe I want to walk and run - maybe I don't feel like sitting and meditating today, and so I still sit, but play with the 10 minutes and try some stretches.
  15. I know that I cannot have cereal in the house, and that watching TV while eating tends to make stopping when I'm full more difficult. These are truths for me, for now - not for everyone, forever. They don't make me weak, or bad, or lacking willpower. I just accept that I'm a person who SOMETIMES has trouble with SOME situations, and I move on.
  16. Try journaling with your dominant and non-dominant hands. This is something I've tried when times have become really difficult, when I've felt hopelessly stuck. The dominant hand asks questions, the other responds. You won't have to try hard; it just happens. It's amazing what you might find come out, and break through.
  17. As morbid as it sounds, thinking about getting hit by a truck and asking myself "Would I be happy with the way that I treated myself today? Have I been truly on my own side and taking care of me?" Most of the time, I find I haven't been as good to myself as I would like to be, and thinking about my life ending on that note helps me to let go a little more- whether it's having a delicious lunch, sleeping-in a few extra minutes, or whatever.
  18. It was a turning point when Susan told me that if "Fear Mind" is using words like "can't", "shouldn't", etc., it's probably something I should go ahead and do! Not only is it exhilarating and freeing to do so, but also it proves that those fears are usually unfounded, and makes them diminish a little more each time.
  19. The idea of using small, tapas style plates to prepare my food was something I had never done before, but it allowed me to really experience each component of my meal first with my eyes and then with my mouth, it made me appreciate the portion and be mindful not only of what, but of how much, I was eating.
  20. The visual Susan presented of the canoe moving down the river has also been really helpful, and knowing that if I get stuck on something, the best thing to do is just keep paddling and eventually I will have left it behind fully. It's not the end of the world, and if I let myself be mired down by it, I will only slow my progression towards where I really want to be.
  21. Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. I forgive myself. I've had to say it aloud over and over again for 40 minutes while clutching my pillow, after feeling like I had "ruined" a positive streak. You're doing the best you can be doing right now. Isn't that enough?